This substack is all about helping you develop a winning mindset so you show up smiling where you go.
If you like this content, please click the subscribe button below. I’d really appreciate it.
Today, I want to share with you something everyone is searching for: the feeling of being settled.
At the end of this post, I’m going to give you the key to maintaining that settled feeling even in the midst of chaos and when your life feels uncertain.
Most people feel unsettled because their life is full of uncertainty. There are a lot of unknowns in their life and that makes life feel out of control.
People also feel unsettled because they are unsure about their purpose and mission in life. Sometimes, we are going about life in a free fall state, going where life takes us, without being intentional.
That causes you to feel as if you are less in control than you would like to be.
You might also feel unsettled if your job is not permanent or full time, that is at least 40 hours a week. Having a part-time job does subject you to unpredictable income levels.
I once had a client who came to me because they were feeling very anxious on a day-to-day level. They were seeing a therapist to get help regularly. But they still felt as though their life was a bit out of control. The To Do List was too long and often they could not figure out how to get it checked off.
After listening to this client for about 15 minutes, I asked him when was the last time you felt settled in your life. They began telling me about growing up with parents who were unstable and who moves often.
As a result, it was hard for them to make friends and define steady employment. This pattern had persisted throughout their life.
Then I said, “it sounds like you've been unsettled for most your life.”
They said, “you know, I never thought of it that way.”
I could see the light bulb going off in their head and they began to smile at me and so they now had an answer they didn't have before. The simple validation help them to gain a sense of normalcy.
The latter came back and thanked me for listening and sharing my observation with them.
Being aware of your internal feelings is really the key to settling down and creating a sense of calm in your life. Another word for this is mindfulness, which is simply a state of being aware of what you feel in your body and what's going on around you.
Here’s the bonus I promised at the beginning of this post.
To maintain that settled feeling, you need to find someone you trust deeply and who you know is a good active listener and share with them your frustrations. Tell them what is frustrating you right now in detail.
Then, ask them for honest feedback about what you can do to ease your frustrations.
The 3rd step is to do exactly what they tell you do – even if it something entirely new. The beauty of this solution is if you had thought of it earlier, you would have done it!
It’s that simple.
Thanks for staying with this post until the end. Don't forget to click the subscribe button in order to get new content as soon as it arrives. We'll see you next time.
And remember to show up smiling.